Who will save me from the rat race of my life?
Who will vanquish these tormenting demons?
Who will replenish the coffee when it runs low?
I say only Pac-Man is up to the allotted tasks
Why Pac-Man?
Why not?
Surely he is more interactive than some
omni-present deity that people take on faith
Surely he lifts my spirits when they're low
Surely he grants my wishes in the night
when the Tooth Fairy is on vacation
Pac-Man can discern whether it be angels
or demons that try to lead me astray
Pac-Man is yellow and I am pasty white
He will teach me about ethnic equality
Pac-Man loves only to eat and Mrs. Pac-Man
He will teach me about quality living
Pac-Man surely imbibes more coffee than
I could ever dream possible in one day
Sleep, he implies, is for pussies
Angels leave crude clues for me in the night
Demons strain to make my nightmares real
Coffee is the enabler that gives me strength
Pac-Man wants out of the arcade game, pronto
Should I heed his pleas to be set free?
Should I heed his warnings of blue ghosts?
Should I follow him into the dot-filled maze?
Should I ask him the secret to Dan Brown's success?
Surely, Pac-Man is adorned with a vibrant halo
What do you mean I shouldn't worship him?
I have his image on file, his manuals in hand
Can I not follow the teachings of a limbless being?
So you're saying he's not real, but I have the toys
So you're saying he's not alive, but he makes noise
So you're saying he's not good, but he thwarts evil
So you're saying he's not a prophet, but he abides
Still you ask, why Pac-Man?
And I still reply, why not?
The only difference between a new digital cult
and older religions is their acceptance over time
Surely all religions started as secret societies
Surely you would not judge me merely because
Pac-Man does not appeal to your way of life
Who will vanquish these tormenting demons?
Who will replenish the coffee when it runs low?
I say only Pac-Man is up to the allotted tasks
Why Pac-Man?
Why not?
Surely he is more interactive than some
omni-present deity that people take on faith
Surely he lifts my spirits when they're low
Surely he grants my wishes in the night
when the Tooth Fairy is on vacation
Pac-Man can discern whether it be angels
or demons that try to lead me astray
Pac-Man is yellow and I am pasty white
He will teach me about ethnic equality
Pac-Man loves only to eat and Mrs. Pac-Man
He will teach me about quality living
Pac-Man surely imbibes more coffee than
I could ever dream possible in one day
Sleep, he implies, is for pussies
Angels leave crude clues for me in the night
Demons strain to make my nightmares real
Coffee is the enabler that gives me strength
Pac-Man wants out of the arcade game, pronto
Should I heed his pleas to be set free?
Should I heed his warnings of blue ghosts?
Should I follow him into the dot-filled maze?
Should I ask him the secret to Dan Brown's success?
Surely, Pac-Man is adorned with a vibrant halo
What do you mean I shouldn't worship him?
I have his image on file, his manuals in hand
Can I not follow the teachings of a limbless being?
So you're saying he's not real, but I have the toys
So you're saying he's not alive, but he makes noise
So you're saying he's not good, but he thwarts evil
So you're saying he's not a prophet, but he abides
Still you ask, why Pac-Man?
And I still reply, why not?
The only difference between a new digital cult
and older religions is their acceptance over time
Surely all religions started as secret societies
Surely you would not judge me merely because
Pac-Man does not appeal to your way of life
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